For Those left In Labour
From this time onward we shall refer to our little Blue Labour companions as ‘Smurfs.’
One of the founding fathers was of course….Dark Lord Mandy Meddlesum. He loves money and riches so much that he walks on all the other Smurfs who are too thick or too greedy, to realize just what he is doing to them… His accomplice, is the flamboyant and greedy little upstart, who would be King, in another clime… His name was Clown Prince Tory De-Bliar and he would do anything for money and power! His step mother, was the arch dragoness SS Dame Barbarous Thaggie Matcher, who would, regularly, send her minions against the smurfs, in order to close down their suet dumpling mines, and Mince furnaces,…. the main source of income and food, for the Smurf nation…She was an altogether, nasty piece of work, who would, one day, be stabbed in the back by her disloyal lackies. The clown princes’ underling, was also a greedy little Smurf called, Gormless Brownose… These two silly little Smurfs, would squabble continuously, like husband and wife, smacking each other in the ‘chops’, then smacking each other on the lips, fighting, then making up , fighting then making up, …all day long!… Then, one day, Tory decided he’d had enough, and sought more lucrative, pastures new. He left, leaving Brownose, in full control of all of the Blue smurfs…Now this little Cretin. sold all of the kingdom’s riches,…Hundreds of millions of dumplings, worth tens of millions of shekels. This buffoon, sold all of them to his Uber-menchen liberalist buddies, for a few hundred mini-shekels!…His blue smurf friends, were really happy about this, but some of Brownose’s old adversaries were furious!
They began to question Brownose’s motives, and decided to see if they could oust him, in order to become smurf leaders!…One of them, was Methuselar -frankskin. He was too old to be leader, but he knew all of the ways of the old socialist order, and he gave advice…Another elder, who wasn’t a blue smurf at all, he was a Red smurf, Pappa Corbyn … a worldly wise socialist, from an order of long ago. He was prepared to be elected as leader, for he was young enough, but old and wise enough, to remember the time, when his brethren were pushed out of their clan, by the horrible greedy ‘Superior Smurfs’, of which Thaggie Matcher was a leading member. .. Then later on, by the hoards of liberalist blue smurfs, who really followed her, with their greedy designs on ruling and becoming rich, without the involvement of the government of the people of the land through non-interventionism.
Pappa Corbyn, became leader of the socialist smurfs after a bitter fight, which even to this day, is still going on.. the blue smurfs feel that they should still rule within the clan but Papa Corbyn was elected by a huge majority, and even brought with him, other old socialists who had left the clan long ago, to live in the woods and forests, because they did not like the evil blue smurfs..
Unfortunately the nasty ‘Superior Smurfs’ rule the land at the moment, and they treat everyone with hatred and disdain…Their leader is the villain SS Divi -Scam -eron who keeps telling everyone lies, and then makes laws on his own without going through Surf Council…He also got bitten once on his ‘private member’, by some disgusting swine!
He is aided by many of his scurrilous associates like the conjuror SS Ozzy Odbod, who is in charge of looking after the shekels, but he keeps spending them on his rich mates, and takes it away from the poor smurfs …He is very frequently under the influence of the waste materials from the slag heaps of the suet dumpling mines, which is very toxic to Super Smurfs…
Another hated accomplice is the evil thick as pig shit SS Iam Dunkin Smurf. He is called this, on account of the fact, that he keeps stealing Suet dumplings from the poor and disabled, and then dunks them in the Mince gravy from the furnaces. This guy is so evil that when he is shaving, and polishing his head, in the mornings, he has been heard to repeatedly say, to the person in front of him, …I hate you, you bastard!…This apparently psychs. him up for the day…An altogether nasty piece of work!
The Smurf in charge of nastiness in the infirmary, is SS JerMeek- Hunt.. he is another devout liar, who promises anything to the doctors and nurses, then retracts his offers covertly, and goes running to the media with his latest statement, saying the doctors have refused a good deal, yet again!..It has been confirmed by the media, that this Smurf couldn’t lie straight, in bed!…
These members of blue surf opposition are not opposition at all, except for opposing their own party and being a pain in the proverbial arse…They sit on the back benches of the surf council and antagonise Pappa Corbyn and his followers for no real reason other than to cause havoc, instead of representing the smurfs who put them there…
These are a couple of blue labour smurfs who have been made into parasite Lordy My’s, and they talk and sleep in another council chamber where they get paid so many suet dumplings per day, just to snooze.. They always complain about the poor suet dumpling miners, for not working hard enough.. If a miner loses his legs due to a cave-in of dumplings at the mine, they then debate over whether or not it was self inflicted, and is he malingering….These Lordy My’s must give off a pungent smell, for some times, on the long benches… the nearest other Lordy My, is about 12 feet away!… Whereas, in the Low council chamber, they are terribly squashed together, and some even have to stand, especially when the lower smurfs are discussing their wage rises..!
SS = Super Smurfs = Tories
Blue smurfs = Blue Labour
More Smurf stories later!….